Everyone loves a nice hot shower to start of the morning squeaky clean or as a way to end that hectic day on a relaxing note.  But when it comes to showers, time is water.  The average shower uses 6 gallons of it every minute.  A ten minute shower each day of the year equates to roughly 22,000 gallons.  Times 4 ppl in your family.  Times the 100 neighbor families in your neighborhood.  That’s enough to fill up the Georgia Aquarium (8.1 million gallons).  Now that I’ve successfully guilt tripped you into trying to achieve that 5 minute shower, let’s learn how to do it.

I’ve outlined a training course for you, grasshopper:

  1. Get motivated.  Imagine all those little Sudanese people who only bath a few times a month.  They have to find and haul their water back home for a meager washing.  Besides, cutting down on shower time saves you money on that water/heating bill. 
  2. Know that Shower.  Put a piece of electrical tape on the shower setting that won’t give you 3rd degree burns, but won’t send you into a hypothermic coma.  Fiddling around to get it just right usually takes me 2 minutes, that’s too much time in our 5 minute goal. 
  3. Don’t Procrastinate, Foo.  Shampoo, wash that body, and apricot-scrub all you want as soon as you get in the shower.  You’ll be less prone to get distracted by the warm water and daydreams.  After you get your business done, you’ll have roughly 3 minutes to enjoy the messaging water, and if you time it, that’s not too bad. 
  4. Close the bathroom door just a crack.  This way, you get a semi-sauna going, don’t have to keep cranking up the water heat, and you’ll still get adequate air circulation. 

Now I realise that not everybody has a clock in their bathroom.  So just wing it.  Estimate how much time each activity takes and see if you accomplished one of the hardest challenges we modern Americans are faced with.  And what’s always the best way to accomplish a goal?  That’s right my friend: do it, and don’t hesitate.  I’m proud of you all, you’re learning quite fast.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a shower to master.


My Rant on Coal, pt. 1

January 8, 2010

Coal. Coal is like that dirty, bum uncle of yours who always seems to give you a really good christmas gift; he’s not too great to be around, a little awkward at times, but always delivers. Now what happens when that uncle moves to Siberia and you never see him again? Gone, nothing left. An alternative would be nice. That seems to be the case of the world and petrol in the next 50 years, and America’s future generations 250 years from now and coal. Like petroleum, we would find life without coal very different. Coal-derived electricity is keeping my computer on right now, and unless you have a windmill/solar power setup, or have a nuclear plant nearby, it’s most likely keeping yours on too. The average American consumes roughly 21 lbs worth of coal everyday. That means I consume my weight in coal every week. I’m too lazy to do the math, but imagine that amount times 55 weeks. Holy bajeezus.

Processed coal: that's what your standard power plant burns to power their turbines, but we'll talk about that later.

Now, let me make it completely clear that I don’t hate coal. It’s a transition fuel type, meaning that it’ll reach it’s peak output eventually and then gradually decrease in consumption rates in America. As these rates decrease, alternative renewable resources will take off, and you know that. The experts say the same for petroleum, and in a sense, we’re going to see that hayday phenom about to unfold very soon. Go to the pump. 10% ethanol. It’s gonna go up. Hybrids. Started with the Honda Insight and the fad is now a concrete commercial and marketing practice. I promise you, my dear reader, in the next 2 decades you and I will see the introduction of home wind turbines and photovoltaics come standard on many middle class homes, and in the home improvement industry, just like hybrids creeped up on the automotive industry. I’m going to go get a sandwich. I love you my dear reader, take care of yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow where we will continue to edumacate ourselves of the world around us.

Check this shizz out: it’s a bathroom mirror that shows you (in a somewhat complex way) how much water you’re consuming/have consumed from your bathroom sink.  Amazing Bathroom SinkNow, how in sweet Bajeezus’ good earth do you think this fancypants mirror works?

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