Man’s Ultimate Trial: The 5 Minute Shower

January 11, 2010

Everyone loves a nice hot shower to start of the morning squeaky clean or as a way to end that hectic day on a relaxing note.  But when it comes to showers, time is water.  The average shower uses 6 gallons of it every minute.  A ten minute shower each day of the year equates to roughly 22,000 gallons.  Times 4 ppl in your family.  Times the 100 neighbor families in your neighborhood.  That’s enough to fill up the Georgia Aquarium (8.1 million gallons).  Now that I’ve successfully guilt tripped you into trying to achieve that 5 minute shower, let’s learn how to do it.

I’ve outlined a training course for you, grasshopper:

  1. Get motivated.  Imagine all those little Sudanese people who only bath a few times a month.  They have to find and haul their water back home for a meager washing.  Besides, cutting down on shower time saves you money on that water/heating bill. 
  2. Know that Shower.  Put a piece of electrical tape on the shower setting that won’t give you 3rd degree burns, but won’t send you into a hypothermic coma.  Fiddling around to get it just right usually takes me 2 minutes, that’s too much time in our 5 minute goal. 
  3. Don’t Procrastinate, Foo.  Shampoo, wash that body, and apricot-scrub all you want as soon as you get in the shower.  You’ll be less prone to get distracted by the warm water and daydreams.  After you get your business done, you’ll have roughly 3 minutes to enjoy the messaging water, and if you time it, that’s not too bad. 
  4. Close the bathroom door just a crack.  This way, you get a semi-sauna going, don’t have to keep cranking up the water heat, and you’ll still get adequate air circulation. 

Now I realise that not everybody has a clock in their bathroom.  So just wing it.  Estimate how much time each activity takes and see if you accomplished one of the hardest challenges we modern Americans are faced with.  And what’s always the best way to accomplish a goal?  That’s right my friend: do it, and don’t hesitate.  I’m proud of you all, you’re learning quite fast.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a shower to master.


2 Responses to “Man’s Ultimate Trial: The 5 Minute Shower”

  1. willowbatel Says:

    Five minutes? Hahaha you must be joking. I take about 15-20 minutes in the shower. When I’m actually awake I take just over ten. During the summer you can turn off your water in the middle of your shower to get yourself covered in soap and then rinse yourself clean in seconds. Think about how much water THAT would save.

  2. wow what a interesting post , its really

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